.mY oh SO wilD wEeK.

Well ok so maybe it is really not to wild, but hey when you have a boring life and you don't do anything you gotta make it wild right?? That is how you are suppose to get your friends to actually want to read your posts! Yet when they do read it and there is nothing exciting they say to themselves "wow ok that was lame." i know i am sorry!
Really the only thing i have done is just been hanging out with my best friend kersten! i love that woman. Monday we went down to gateway in Salt Lake and had a day of shopping and just so you know i seriously found the cutest pants ever! Of course i bought them! :) Don't you hate it when you go shopping and you just can't find anything you like? Or perhaps you do like it cause then you don't spend your money. I have the biggest problem trying to save my money. Ahhhh.
Tuesday and Wednesday i have just sat at home and chilled, but last night i did go get goodies and watched a movie "precious," i really recommend watching that show. If you do not like swearing then you probably wont like it. But you have to know that this show is about a girl who gets abused and raped and it shows her story! It is sooo sad, but like i said it drops the F bomb like A TON! no joke! I honestly think it is not necessary and that it would be so much better if that swearing was out of there, but the bases of the story is heart wrenching!!!
well today i had so many plans to look forward to and was so excited for today, till last night my boss text me and said that i may just have to work today! :( its so freaking hard to plan anything cause they randomly text me and call me all the time when i am suppose to have the day off and tell me i gotta go in! poop! I guess we shall see what happens though right? Plus i gotta think on the bright side, ITS MONEY!!! ha.
now k for saturday everyone is going to be jealous! I am going down to Mt. Green to hangout with an old friend that i grew up with and we are going to build forts out of furniture and blankets and then we are going to have SPITBALL WARS!!! yeah sounds gross but for some reason to me it sounds so FUN!!! and i am totally excited for this to go down! then we are going to bake a cake yay! :)
saturday and sunday: well i work saturday so i won't be doing anything but that and then sunday i get to go to two homecomings oh yay!!!! :) with two girls i absolutely love! what are there names your wondering? well they are kersten randle and shantel stoddard! they are wonderful girls that i just simply love! well now that you know my week i bet you guys can all guess what day i am most excited for! hahaha. <3

worst news of my life. :(

well lets just start it off with i have had a bad hip that has been killing me oh so bad lately, well my father thought i was just being a baby and thought i was just making it all up so i dealt with it for 6 months and then i just got to the point where it was unbearable and i just could not stop crying because of how bad it was killing me. well i went to the doctor and got some x rays of my hip and what not and get the results and the doctor says they are not so great so he calls my dad and gave him the news, that is then when my father finally decided to believe me.
i later went and saw a hip specialist and his name was jason blackham and he was up at mckay dee hospital. he tells me that they have never done a hip replacement or anything dealing with the hip on a young 19 year old girl and that there were very high chances of having problems or anything like that because this surgery is so serious! so i am freaking out and not wanting this. Doctor Blackham says here is what we are going to do, we are going to try anything possible to try and help it before getting this surgery. I started going to physical therapy and had to go for 6 weeks, that did no justice. Wednesday march 3rd, i had gone in for an injection and an mri to see if that would work and that was my second attempt to try and fix this hip of mine!
lets just say i don't have much luck! i went back today for the results of my mri and injection and nothing happened! i am gonna probably be getting surgery. But not only is this going to be a high risk surgery, it is expensive, and it will take a year to recover from this surgery to get back on my feet and get back to normal! i am really scared for this whole situation because i am so young and i have so much i need to do and i just need to go on with my life!!! :(
people help me with the faith and prayers to get this hip better and out of this shape it is in and to hope that i can just be a normal teenage girl who can go out and have a fun life while i am young and to see the bright side of life because right now i am not seeing anything bright in my life and i have been really down lately, i know i got my mother up in heaven telling me, shantel you are on this earth for a reason and you are the shining star in my eyes and i am here for you and i know she is pushing me to be happy and she is there for me. i am just really struggling with all this that is going on! i really could use my mother in my life right now to help push me! but if she could deal with her cancer with such a positive attitude and knowing she was gonna die and to be happy and ok about that because it is gods work and what he had planned then i can know that whatever happens it is gods plan! my mother is so my hero for all she ever did!!! im praying like crazy for the best!

birThdAy wiSHes!!

hey everyone, it has been quite a while since i have been on here to write a new post but ithought i would today to let my mother know how much i love her and miss her. today is her birthday and i just wanted to wish her a happy birthday and i am hoping she had the most wonderful day today in heaven and that it was just the best day for her!! i was thinking about her all day and just wishing she was able to be here so we could celebrate it together as a family! but i know that god has a plan for all of us and that one day we will be able to be together again and celebrate all of our birthdays together again!!!
i miss you mom and just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :) lots of love from me to you!!!

doctors, doctors, doctors!!

so i have been going to the doctors the past 7 months because i have a dislocated hip that i was born with and it has been recently hurting me so i went into the doctors when it first started hurting and i got x rays and what not, comes to find out it is all sorts of jacked up! well i went to go see a hip specialist about 6 weeks ago and he told me he wanted me to do physical therapy ! so i went and got into physical therapy and had to do that for the past 6 weeks every tuesday and thursdays! That did nothing for me beings that my hip was STILL hurting me!
well i just went back to the hip specialist yesterday february 22, and i had two choices to choose from! i could either get an injection of some sort of stuff and then get an mri, or i could just go straight to surgery. So i asked my dad what he thought i should do and he chose the mri and injection so now i have to go in march 3 for the injection and mri to see what my muscles and what not look like. So if this mri and injection do not work my last resort is surgery!
lets just say i don't want to have to get the surgery. because if i do i will be out in recovery for a whole year!!! i would have to stay in a hospital for a week, be in a wheelchair for 5 weeks, then be on crutches for 6 to 7 months!!! then start physical therapy to relearn how to walk! so pray with me and lets hope for the best!!

visiting a loved one..

Have you ever lost someone you absolutely love with all your heart and to not have them by your side you just feel so lost, your missing the other half of you, or you just don't know what your going to do without them because your life is just so different? well let me tell you something, it is the hardest thing EVER! My mother was my best friend i told her everything about my life and what was going on. wether it was from drama with a friend to a boyfriend or just to gossip with or shop with!
she has now been in heaven for two years and a month! (man does time fly), but you know it don't matter where she is wether it is here on this earth or there in heaven she is still here to listen to me and my problems! why i talk about this is because i just recently went to her grave to see her, to update her on my life and what has been happening in the life of her daughter, and boy i know she is just up there in heaven listening to me and all my worries go away! yes, i do miss my mother sooo much! there is not one day that goes by that i do not think about her!
But i would never be so selfish to have her be here on this earth suffering and just being in pain! i want the best for her and that was to go back to our heavenly father to serve her next mission there! I always go to visit her at her grave and everytime i leave her it is the hardest thing i have to do because i just don't like to feel like i am leaving my best friend.
THE ONE THING I KNOW IS SHE ALWAYS LISTENS TO ME AND LOVES ME! i recommend if you have a loved one and you have not seen them in a while go over and visit with them you will feel that love you maybe have been missing! never fear it. I know i did for a while and never really went and i regret it so much. i just want everyone to know that i love my mother with all my heart she is my world and my everything, she is my hero with everything she had to go through and how well she dealt with it! idk how she did it but she was the most wonderful person and i know she touched the lives of many cause i know she is my guardian angel and i love her so so so so so so so so so so so much!

love him.

today i got another letter from he amazing elder brandley! wow it was a great letter but any letter that comes from that boy i love he is an amazing guy!! but in the letter he said he is doing amazing! him and his comp kinda struggled the other week but that they are just really praying and trying to get back up there! they are teaching a family right now to try and baptize them! he also just talked to me about life and asked how mine was of course! haha. but he sent me a paragraph in spanish and its always a fun game for me to go get online and figure it out by translating it from spanish to english on google translate! haha. this last message said: "i miss you so much! i can not even tell you how much i miss you and want you in my arms!" with love elder brandley! yes i know soooooooooo cute right?? ha.
well i replied back and my letter was 5 pages.. ya i had a lot to say ok! ha. but i figured it would be funny and he would be amazed if i was to write a paragraph back in spanish so i did! :) mine says: " i miss you so much as well! i would love to be in your arms right now! i can not tell you how much i miss you!! i just can't wait for the day you come home and it can happen!" i love recieveing letters from him! :) i have not been able to stop smiling it just makes me so happy!
well that was my great news for the day i had to share! :) <3

brandley family

ever had that one family who you just know is like a family to you already??? well that is why i write today is because i have this family that i just LOVE so much! they are the most amazing people i have ever met. You step into their home and you can just feel their love for you and how amazingly sweet these people are! I have had the opportunity to get to know this family for the past 2 or 3 years! Let me tell you what, i can go to them for anything and they are there for me! Though it is just mostly for someone to listen to me while i just vent and babble on, but they always listen.
How i met this family is where you guys are probably wondering. Well let me share you my story. Have you ever walked into a class on the very first day and all you do as you walk in is look around to see what friends you know and if they are in that class so you can go sit next to them, because you don't wanna sit by yourself and look silly. Well that is exactly what i did, but sadly for me i had no friends in that class with me, but i saw this kid that i was stunned by and just thought to myself wow i got to get to know this kid! That is exactly what i did. Though it did take me a couple weeks to get the courage to go sit next to him and talk to him. So being the nerd i am i go sit next to him and introduce myself and he introduces himself, the only thing i could think about talkin to him about was basketball because that is what was on his leather mans jacket! haha. As we got to know one another we started talking and later texting and later going out on dates and hanging out all the time! From when i first met him i knew he was an amazing guy and knew how to make a girl feel special.
Later on as we kept hanging out i got to go to his house where i met his family! And let me tell you what i fell in love with that family when i first met them. They were so sweet and welcoming when i first walked through that door! I have had trials in my life that i just have struggled soooo much with and that family was always there fore me! They are such a blessing to me i will tell you that one right now. To this day i still go over there and hangout with that family all the time they are just so amazing, you don't even know how many times i could say they are amazing and it is still not enough!! Every single one of those kids have been an example in my life and have changed me in some way for the good!
Danny brandley is just such an amazing kid! he is like a brother to me. I can go to him for anything, whenever i am down or i just need to talk he is there and he knows how to put a smile on my face when i am down! ( and he knows what he says to put that smile on my face!) but ever since jordan has been out on his mission danny has been that one to be there for me! he is just so amazing and girls if you ever think all guys are jerks or that they are always wanting to cheat you are so wrong! cause danny is a winner! if you girls are single don't pass up daniel because you will regret it! he is just a sweetheart! just like his brother!!
i just wanted everyone to know that this family has blessed my life forever and i am so grateful for this family and i would do anything for them! they are always there for you and they just show love and friendship to you at anytime! Never have i felt so grateful for a wonderful family like the brandley family they all are so wonderful and amazing! they are the family that i want to be just like every single one of them show so much love to one another at all times! They are truely the happiest family and you know they love one another! It is just a great atmosphere for you when you are around them and they just make me realize what life is all about and what a family is about! i love that family so much! and i am just so so greatful for them in my life!