birThdAy wiSHes!!

hey everyone, it has been quite a while since i have been on here to write a new post but ithought i would today to let my mother know how much i love her and miss her. today is her birthday and i just wanted to wish her a happy birthday and i am hoping she had the most wonderful day today in heaven and that it was just the best day for her!! i was thinking about her all day and just wishing she was able to be here so we could celebrate it together as a family! but i know that god has a plan for all of us and that one day we will be able to be together again and celebrate all of our birthdays together again!!!
i miss you mom and just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :) lots of love from me to you!!!

doctors, doctors, doctors!!

so i have been going to the doctors the past 7 months because i have a dislocated hip that i was born with and it has been recently hurting me so i went into the doctors when it first started hurting and i got x rays and what not, comes to find out it is all sorts of jacked up! well i went to go see a hip specialist about 6 weeks ago and he told me he wanted me to do physical therapy ! so i went and got into physical therapy and had to do that for the past 6 weeks every tuesday and thursdays! That did nothing for me beings that my hip was STILL hurting me!
well i just went back to the hip specialist yesterday february 22, and i had two choices to choose from! i could either get an injection of some sort of stuff and then get an mri, or i could just go straight to surgery. So i asked my dad what he thought i should do and he chose the mri and injection so now i have to go in march 3 for the injection and mri to see what my muscles and what not look like. So if this mri and injection do not work my last resort is surgery!
lets just say i don't want to have to get the surgery. because if i do i will be out in recovery for a whole year!!! i would have to stay in a hospital for a week, be in a wheelchair for 5 weeks, then be on crutches for 6 to 7 months!!! then start physical therapy to relearn how to walk! so pray with me and lets hope for the best!!

visiting a loved one..

Have you ever lost someone you absolutely love with all your heart and to not have them by your side you just feel so lost, your missing the other half of you, or you just don't know what your going to do without them because your life is just so different? well let me tell you something, it is the hardest thing EVER! My mother was my best friend i told her everything about my life and what was going on. wether it was from drama with a friend to a boyfriend or just to gossip with or shop with!
she has now been in heaven for two years and a month! (man does time fly), but you know it don't matter where she is wether it is here on this earth or there in heaven she is still here to listen to me and my problems! why i talk about this is because i just recently went to her grave to see her, to update her on my life and what has been happening in the life of her daughter, and boy i know she is just up there in heaven listening to me and all my worries go away! yes, i do miss my mother sooo much! there is not one day that goes by that i do not think about her!
But i would never be so selfish to have her be here on this earth suffering and just being in pain! i want the best for her and that was to go back to our heavenly father to serve her next mission there! I always go to visit her at her grave and everytime i leave her it is the hardest thing i have to do because i just don't like to feel like i am leaving my best friend.
THE ONE THING I KNOW IS SHE ALWAYS LISTENS TO ME AND LOVES ME! i recommend if you have a loved one and you have not seen them in a while go over and visit with them you will feel that love you maybe have been missing! never fear it. I know i did for a while and never really went and i regret it so much. i just want everyone to know that i love my mother with all my heart she is my world and my everything, she is my hero with everything she had to go through and how well she dealt with it! idk how she did it but she was the most wonderful person and i know she touched the lives of many cause i know she is my guardian angel and i love her so so so so so so so so so so so much!

love him.

today i got another letter from he amazing elder brandley! wow it was a great letter but any letter that comes from that boy i love he is an amazing guy!! but in the letter he said he is doing amazing! him and his comp kinda struggled the other week but that they are just really praying and trying to get back up there! they are teaching a family right now to try and baptize them! he also just talked to me about life and asked how mine was of course! haha. but he sent me a paragraph in spanish and its always a fun game for me to go get online and figure it out by translating it from spanish to english on google translate! haha. this last message said: "i miss you so much! i can not even tell you how much i miss you and want you in my arms!" with love elder brandley! yes i know soooooooooo cute right?? ha.
well i replied back and my letter was 5 pages.. ya i had a lot to say ok! ha. but i figured it would be funny and he would be amazed if i was to write a paragraph back in spanish so i did! :) mine says: " i miss you so much as well! i would love to be in your arms right now! i can not tell you how much i miss you!! i just can't wait for the day you come home and it can happen!" i love recieveing letters from him! :) i have not been able to stop smiling it just makes me so happy!
well that was my great news for the day i had to share! :) <3

brandley family

ever had that one family who you just know is like a family to you already??? well that is why i write today is because i have this family that i just LOVE so much! they are the most amazing people i have ever met. You step into their home and you can just feel their love for you and how amazingly sweet these people are! I have had the opportunity to get to know this family for the past 2 or 3 years! Let me tell you what, i can go to them for anything and they are there for me! Though it is just mostly for someone to listen to me while i just vent and babble on, but they always listen.
How i met this family is where you guys are probably wondering. Well let me share you my story. Have you ever walked into a class on the very first day and all you do as you walk in is look around to see what friends you know and if they are in that class so you can go sit next to them, because you don't wanna sit by yourself and look silly. Well that is exactly what i did, but sadly for me i had no friends in that class with me, but i saw this kid that i was stunned by and just thought to myself wow i got to get to know this kid! That is exactly what i did. Though it did take me a couple weeks to get the courage to go sit next to him and talk to him. So being the nerd i am i go sit next to him and introduce myself and he introduces himself, the only thing i could think about talkin to him about was basketball because that is what was on his leather mans jacket! haha. As we got to know one another we started talking and later texting and later going out on dates and hanging out all the time! From when i first met him i knew he was an amazing guy and knew how to make a girl feel special.
Later on as we kept hanging out i got to go to his house where i met his family! And let me tell you what i fell in love with that family when i first met them. They were so sweet and welcoming when i first walked through that door! I have had trials in my life that i just have struggled soooo much with and that family was always there fore me! They are such a blessing to me i will tell you that one right now. To this day i still go over there and hangout with that family all the time they are just so amazing, you don't even know how many times i could say they are amazing and it is still not enough!! Every single one of those kids have been an example in my life and have changed me in some way for the good!
Danny brandley is just such an amazing kid! he is like a brother to me. I can go to him for anything, whenever i am down or i just need to talk he is there and he knows how to put a smile on my face when i am down! ( and he knows what he says to put that smile on my face!) but ever since jordan has been out on his mission danny has been that one to be there for me! he is just so amazing and girls if you ever think all guys are jerks or that they are always wanting to cheat you are so wrong! cause danny is a winner! if you girls are single don't pass up daniel because you will regret it! he is just a sweetheart! just like his brother!!
i just wanted everyone to know that this family has blessed my life forever and i am so grateful for this family and i would do anything for them! they are always there for you and they just show love and friendship to you at anytime! Never have i felt so grateful for a wonderful family like the brandley family they all are so wonderful and amazing! they are the family that i want to be just like every single one of them show so much love to one another at all times! They are truely the happiest family and you know they love one another! It is just a great atmosphere for you when you are around them and they just make me realize what life is all about and what a family is about! i love that family so much! and i am just so so greatful for them in my life!

one longggg day!

so i started a new job yesterday but not only did i just have to go to my new job, but i had to go to my other job as well. i am sooooo not use to such a long day. haha. it totally kicked my butt. i woke up at 7:30 and got ready and what not and i was off to work!! so from 9 till noon i worked at my new job well then from noon to 6 i had to work at my other job which i called justice, well after that i had to go back to my new job and work from 6 to 10!! i worked a 13 hour shift yesterday between two jobs! WOW it was so crazy. But hey all that matters is i love both jobs they are both way fun and very laid back.. and i will be getting lots of money! :) yay. best part was after work i got to hangout with one of my best friends named gabe!! :)

sometimes tough things come back in some way..

so today i was driving up to the mall for a job interview to work at this purse store and i was following this car.. well it was a red light and we are stopped and i look up and on the back of the window i see a sticker that had said 01/05/07. 
well for you of those who don't know what that day is that was the day my mom passed away, she was soooo amazing and wonderful and will never be forgotten. i miss her more and more every day, but i know i will be with her again someday. I also know she is my guardian angel and watches over me every single day and protects me!
it is probably the hardest thing to have to lose a parent or a relative. So anytime you feel like yelling at your family members or do not appreciate them think twice before you ever do anything because if you lost them the next day you would regret what you last said to them. love your family and cherish each moment you got. 
i miss my best friend. she as there for me through everything and seeing that sticker today brought back memories to the day my mom died, it makes it so hard to think about it. And most of all i just sit and think wow its been three years and it feels like it was just yesterday!!!
well i just want to say i love you mom and i can't wait till the day comes we meet again and i hope you are so happy and pain free, i miss you like crazy and you probably know that you look down on me and wipe my tears away for me. i know you will always be here with me through thick and thin. i could say i miss and love you over and over and it could still not express how much i do miss and love you mom!!!! rip.

a friend for life.

So yesterday i went to a good friend of mines house to help him answer these two girls back

to two different dances. Well what he wanted to do was write some poems so being the kids we are

we wrote a funny poem. It was probably the worst poem i ever thought of beings i love writing poems

but it was what the whole point was.

Well after that was all said and done we went to wal-mart to get all the supplies we were going

to need. And let me tell you i don't think i have ever spent such a long time in wal-mart! ha. We were

there for almost two hours. half of just messing around and walking in circles and half of getting the

supplies that was needed to decorate.

After we decorated we went back to danny's house and just messed around and i don't i have ever

had so much freaking fun. Though we didn't even really do anything crazy, but we just danced around

the house had competitions, danny and i cleaned the kitchen, and we sang, also we played this weird

stacking game with couch cushins and us. Seriously it was such a random fun night.

Most of all danny would ask me questions of my mom and i and what i loved the most and just

asking stuff that really made me think and made me really appreciate every moment that i got to

spend with my mom and it made me feel so good. He is such a good friend and i really love and

appreciate him so much. He is so much like his brother and any girl that wins him better not hurt

him because he is one boy you wanna keep and treasure! just like i hope to get to with his brother

because he is an amazing guy that i miss so much and love!

Danny thank you oh sooooo much for last night and everything you did.

in heLL!

well lets just start out with how bad my week has been, everything that could of possibly gone wrong, did! and i have already been so down lately with everything going on in my life. But you also gotta know that my dads girlfriend, yeah not a fan of her. She is the reason why my dad and i fight and argue so dang much and i hate it. 

Today we were in the front living room and we were just kinda talking about the future and what could possibly happen with the way economy is, and how it could become dangerous with the job my dad has and him having a chance of loosing it. Well if that didn't scare me enough this next thing that came out of his mouth sure did.

He announced that he was putting our house up for sale and that he was planning on proposing to his girlfriend. NOT GOOD. Do you ever get that feeling that you just know something bad is gonna happen and you try to tell that person, but they just will not listen to you? well that is exactly where i am at now with my father. He only wants to see the good in her and not the things he really needs to be paying attention the REAL jessica she is! So hear all this just made my whole freaking month horrible and i just really don't know what to do?

If you were in this place what in the world would you do?? i need some guidance and help here cause i have tried talking to him and he just gets mad at me! AHHH help paleeeease! oh and i have not gotten a letter from the missionary in a while! :( but it will come!

oLd frieNds. rEuniTe!

wow so today i am on facebook and i notice i have an inbox, so of course i go and check it out to see who it is from. As i go into my inbox i see the name and i am thinking whatttt no way it could be him., he is on his mission and i didn't think missionaries could really get onto facebook. Well i write matt back and start talking to him about the mission and how it is going, seeing what is new with him, well somehow we got onto the subject of the day my mom passed away.

I remember that day as if it were just yesterday. Matt Green is one of my best friends. it was January 5th, 2007 and i had recieved a phone call from my brother saying that my mom was not doing good and that he would just keep me updated if it got any worse. All i could think about was my mom and i was in the seminary building with my friends Matt and Becca who sat there comforting me and just being there for me! well lets just say it was so great to hear from matt and to know that he cares for me and to talk about that and hearing him say that he was sad because i was sad and that he would always be there for me just made my day!!! i thank matt from the bottom of my heart and love him! he is always and forever a good friend!!!!

ever had a scary moment?

well today my daddy went to the doctor because he has not been feeling well. so when he came home, he walked in and says i have very high blood pressure! i said well ok what does that mean? and his reply is i could have a heart attack very easily if it was to happen. that is not really something a daughter wants to hear now is it?? so now i can't help but to make sure i kinda watch and follow him!!

jan 31st, 2010

well lets just say that today has been a more rough day... my dad invited his so called girlfriend over for dinner today! wouldn't you think she would want to make a good impression on us kids if she wants us to like her? cause i mean if i was in her shoes i'd want the kids to like me, not hate me. But i guess she does it her way and that just means, for her that she won't get us to like her. I am ready for the next girl to come into my dads life. Hopefully a real woman!! and the sad thing is, is my dad is totally changing his ways just for her! its so retarted.

jan 25th, 2010

so i recieved a letter from the missionary i am writing and waiting for to come home. have you guys ever gone back to the very first day that you met that one boy you really like and can see yourself loving forever? well lets just say that was me when i read this letter! he is an amazing guy andd i just love getting letters from him. he makes me feel like i am worth so much and that i mean something!! it feels great!